Our Monday Morning (actually Tuesday):
5:45 – Gotta pee, see the time and think “meh, I can get another wink in before 6am”.
6:00 – Alarm sounds … volume is down so I don’t hear it.
6:01 – 7:27am – Second alarm sounds at 6:40 and I don’t hear that either. At some point Ari crawls in my bed and starts jabbering away. I don’t EVER open my eyes and make contact during these times because eye contact means I’m awake and I don’t want to be awake.
7:28am – Ari: Maaaaaaaama, ma, ma, moom!!!!!!!
Me: WHAT!!!! (Eyes still closed)
Ari: Mr Gold Sun is UP!
Me: Pissed off and ready to slice this child, I look at my phone and it’s now 7:29am. 😳😳😳😳😳😳
7:29:53 – General household announcement that the bus is leaving in 10 minutes those not on it will suffer the wrath of Mama Known’s grueling cleaning schedule all day (uh, if you’ve been in my house you know this does not exist … EVER).
7:33 – Ari is standing on her bed, naked, clothes in hand. “I’m getting dressed mama”
Ashley is STILL in bed but swearing she is up and almost dressed.
7:37 – Ari now has pants on. Zoe has a collar and her legs are quivering from holding pee. Ash is nowhere to be seen. But send out a signal of life every 30-40 seconds.
7:40 – Ari and I dash downstairs, I make a pathetic PB sandwich and throw in a granola bar and call it a day for her lunch.
Ashley still has made no entrance.
7:45 – Ari has on her pants, socks, shoes, coat … underwear in one hand, shirt in the other. Ash has appeared in a nice dress and designer leggings. Good to know someone has the time for style today.
7:47 – (Ari should be in school now) Ari disrobes in the kitchen to put on the forgotten garments. Ash throws a breakfast sandwich in the micro, let’s Zoe out to pee and decides to change her clothes. Uhhh … NO! The second announcement is made that anyone in various states of undress will still be boarding the mama bus in 1 minute.
7:49 – Run to the truck that we left outside instead of in the heated garage. Winter has returned … nobody is dressed for the 37 degree shock.
7:49:17 – Ari doesn’t have her bag!!!! She runs to get it.
7:51 – Finally leaving for the school run.
7:53 – LATE so Ash has to walk Ari to her classroom.
8:03 – LATE so Ash has to be buzzed into to school while I call them and beg for mercy.
8:07 – PLEASE DEAR GOD DONT LET THIS MORNING BE IN VAIN … I CAN NOT MISS THE DIRECT TV AND INTERNET APPOINTMENT AT 8AM!!!! Mama Known needs her WiFi and HBO back.
Any other day and I would have declared it a no school day, handed Ari the remote, and gone back to sleep.