I figure my first marriage may have started going wrong when I began referring to my ex-husband as my “starter husband”. Looking back, I wouldn’t be who I am now without our seven years together, but yowza … we had some issues. And yes, I take part of the blame. We were equally unmatched.
I lay here writing with high hopes. Kevin and I were married in October of this year and haven’t killed each other yet! Progress, right? We genuinely enjoy each other and have no issues communicating when we aren’t happy. Fixing the unhappiness is taking some work, but that’s part of the fun of being together and growing together. Or at least that’s what that smarty pants Gary Chapman and his “Languages of Love” say.
What have I learned in what should be my final marriage in this life? That there are two Chenon’s. This is important! I’ve alway worked really hard in my older and mature adult life to live transparently. I screwed that up in my twenties so I’m working to make that right. Anyway … apparently there is a kink in the system. 😬😬
If we go to sleep and I’m super mad about something, sleepy time Chenon can not be held accountable to keep that grudge or irritation overnight solid and strong. Sleepy time Chenon cuddles, snuggles, and does other adult things. Sleepy time Chenon has no enemies foreign or domestic! So, Kevin, when you wake up at 2am with me wrapped around you like you’ve be lasso’d by a cowboy, don’t let that fool you. Come morning, there will be no pancakes and there will be no hash. Sleepy time Chenon will not be used as bait.
I used to adhere to that stupid rule of never going to bed mad. Screw that! Who came up with that!?!?! I solve nothing when I force myself into a discussion and neither does Kevin. More importantly, when I sleep on it, it’s never as important in the morning. Usually I really I’ve been a dumbass and it’s probably my fault anyway.
I circle back to my first experience and how I’ve learned and entered this marriage with a joy and love I could not have grasped ten years ago. However, even with that, we all know I’m an idiot and big flags leading me to things I need to work on and areas I should give attention to will fly right on by. So help a girl out! If ya see me clueless, it’s not a mirage, ITS REAL LIFE!!!!